Entanglements.

Chiiiiild. I cannot believe I am out here on Barack Obama’s internet talking about some people’s relationship who I don’t even know. I need to be minding my damn business and worrying about my own relationship… or lack there of… but baby, Will & Jada sent Black twitter in a frenzy yesterday. The tea is piping hot and there is much to be learned by taking a lil sip.

Admittedly, I also just love the mess.

Now, let me get some of y’all up to speed. A couple weeks ago, I Luv This Shit singer, August Alsina, revealed that he and Jada Pinkett Smith were in a relationship a few years back, which was given the stamp of approval by Will Smith. August said that he “deeply loved” Jada and was broken when they went their separate ways. I’ll be honest – I didn’t pay much attention to his interview. I haven’t thought about August Alsina since like 2014 and we literally hear about Will & Jada’s “open relationship” like every other year. I figured it was a publicity stunt (dude just dropped an album), but enough people made enough of a fuss for Jada to feel compelled to bring herself to the Red Table.

TLDW:

1. Jada and Will were going through it and were separated (nearly divorced)
2. Jada was looking for healing and ended up in an “entanglement” (read: situationship) with ‘Aug’
3. Jada and Will worked through their shit and got back together and sis left Aug by the wayside

Y’all. When I tell you I’m about to use “entanglement” from this day forward… mark my words!

So let me just start by saying that all of this is really none of our business. Yes, by being a celebrity, you do make a conscious decision to put yourself in the limelight, but I don’t feel like they owed us an explanation. I do appreciate the transparency for my content though! Secondly, Aug baby. Let us collectively say a prayer for that man. My guy just wanted to speak his truth. He said he was deeply in love and sis said their relationship was purely for her own self healing. That is some savage shit. Ya hate to see it. I already knew Jada was a sorcerer, but THIS?! This is something else. Listen friends, please heal within yourself first before involving other people in your romantic life. Hurt people hurt people, and it’s actually not cool.

Truthfully, their convo felt a bit airbrushed. I feel like a lot was left unsaid, but you could still feel the discomfort. There is some realness in their discomfort though. I think people want to believe that marriage is peachy, roses and butterflies, but my sense is that transgressions (both minor and otherwise) happen more often than not. Marriages, at least what I know of them, require honesty, selflessness and sacrifice, IF you’re willing to work through it. Although Will and Jada didn’t leave it all on the table for us, I think they did give us a taste of how awkward, difficult, and painful that work can be. I still don’t love that it sometimes feels like you have to go through tough times to get the loving relationship you want on the other end. Is that because we’re not actually meant to be monogamous at all and we’re forcing something that is unnatural to us? Hmm… (I have this convo with myself biannually. Simmer on it – it’ll be its own post at some point.)

Look. At the end of the day who are we to judge? I know some of y’all’s stories – you are not above reproach. You cannot look me in the eye and front like you ain’t been in an entanglement or two. Some of y’all are probably entangled right neeow! *eyes* I know I sho have been, but we’re also gonna save that story (stories? yikes) for another day. What works for Will & Jada works for Will & Jada. What works for you & your significant other works for you & your significant other. So long as you are in love and at peace, the rest is wack noise. Ya hear me?