Love in the Time of The ‘Rona

Not me not writing for almost four months and y’all just giving me grace. Honestly, truly appreciate you because motivation has been on zero, as has my accountability. Blame 2020, not my heart. I’ve been meaning to write about this for a minute though because it has been on my mind a lot lowkey. I think we’re likely underestimating the impact that the coronavirus and quarantining will have on us long term because we’re still very much living through it. My sense is that various aspects of our daily lives will continue to be altered, some more drastically than others, romantic relationships being one of them. With vaccines around the corner, hopefully we’ll get a bit of reprieve soon, but for the time being, the status quo remains.

Now, before you read through this, let me just drop my disclaimer: If you’ve come here for a guide to finding love, baby, you’ve come to the wrong place. I hate to break it to you; I really do.

If you’ve come here for a guide to finding love, baby, you’ve come to the wrong place.

For context, I am single… AF, presently living at home with my parents and ghosted my way out of my last couple tings (read: situationships). I promise I am not the one to imitate. One thing about me, though, imma give good advice that I may not always listen to for myself. Do as I say, not as I do.

Love on Yourself

This header is as innocent or as sexual as you want it to be. I mean it both ways. I’m starting here because it’s simply a life pro-tip. The hope is that the more you love yourself, like for real, the more you can give love and receive love from others. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so fill yours in the *healthy* ways you know or learn how. This is all the more crucial in ‘rona times because you might just be spending more time alone. Dark, I know, but also real. While I, like many of you, have seen quarantine engagements and pregnancies up and down the timeline, that might not be your reality, and that’s fine! The good thing is that you have time – time to figure out what you want, time to separate your likes from your dislikes, or time to rest and do nothing at all. Take advantage where you can. You might just blink and end up in an entanglement.

Beware of Scrolling Culture

Since most of us are in the house more (I’m speaking to everyone but the city of Atlanta), we may be spending more time on socials. When I tell you I’ve cringed at my screen time a couple times, believe me. On the one hand, technology might just be our saving grace during this time. No clubs, no trips? Queue Instagram and Hinge. On the other hand, it might be causing us to overlook some opportunities that are right under our noses. Queue Scrolling Culture. Scrolling Culture is my very own theory, kinda like Pavlov’s Dog (whew, the psych major is jumping OUT, but you heard it here first). It’s the idea that us millennials are so accustomed to scrolling our socials and seeing something new every time we scroll, that we expect the same from our real personal lives. Because we believe that there’s something new and more exciting to come, we fail to really appreciate what we already have in front of us. The difficulty is – that new and exciting thing you might have been hoping for, might not be so great after all. Hate to see it. Don’t miss out on a good thing.

Plug Ya Damn Friends

Since we’re not meeting new people in the streets and since the swipes might not be as poppin as they appear, it might be time to tap into that one degree of separation. To be fair, even if the hits were hitting, EYE am not going outside to meet randoms in a panny nor am I bringing randoms in the home with my family. That said, it’s possible that the one who’s “meant to be” is someone in your immediate or extended circle. SCARY! So it’s about time we stop playing and put our friends on. Vouch for them, connect them, and make shit pop! It’s long overdue, actually.

Be F*cking Honest

Last, but certainly not least, if there’s anything this pandemic has taught us, it’s that life is short and comes at you fast. It’s time for us to hang up these games because who even has the time? Our generation is so overwhelmingly trash about being honest with ourselves and subsequently being honest with our romantic interests and partners. We believe we’re getting some upper hand but, in reality, we’re just doing ourselves a disservice. Say what you freaking mean and do what you freaking say. As the tweet streets say, give people their flowers. As I say, show how you feel in the moment and worry about what happens later.

That’s all I got for now.

“But Sonz, I read your post and I’m still single.” Sis, who do you think I am – cupid?! Child, if I was the damn Millionaire Matchmaker, you think I would be sitting here writing this post?? These aren’t the answers, just some things I think might be worth pondering and considering. Heard me?