PRIDE: Do you… and some of y’all do better.

Happy Pride, loves! I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of shook that it’s almost July. Sadly, between Corona and fighting for racial justice, it kind of feels like Pride Month lost some of its shine. I hate that for us. While there have been great strides in the LGBTQ+ community, there is still work to be done and, truthfully, the healthcare, race, sexual orientation and gender identity conversations aren’t as mutually exclusive as some would like to believe. C’mon intersectionality! As the ally that I believe I am (friends, please check me), I had to show my support the only way I know how — a little honesty, a little humor and a lot of love.

My education of sexual orientation started when I was pretty young. My cousins and I (I’m talking like 10 of us) used to mob at our family homes during the summer. One of those summers, I had to be like 8, one of my cousins came out to us. I am one of the youngest in the group. At the time, I remember my older sister and cousins being surprised by the news, so I gathered fairly quickly that this was NEWS news. In the weeks that followed, I watched as everyone walked on eggshells figuring out the right things to do or say or the right questions to ask. She handled them with grace. EYE probably would’ve caught more of an attitude, thrown a ‘bow or two. But by the end the summer, what I concluded was that my cousin was my cousin and will continue to be my cousin, and I’d love her all the same. Full stop.

Fast-forward 20 years and my sentiments are the same. Pride is genuinely the feeling I have for my family and friends who are of the LGBTQ+ community. I can only imagine how difficult coming out might be and doing so in a world that doesn’t always accept you for something that is entirely out of your control. I believe that sexuality is a spectrum, and I’ve grown to believe that more people are fluid than not. (You don’t have to agree with me on this point – argue with your mother.) Believe what you want, but at the very least, we can all extend a little grace. To my LGBTQ+ family, followers and friends: remember that you are so loved, valued and appreciated. You are movers and shakers and creators of culture. Keep being you and doing you and know that there is always a place of warm, outward support and love for you here.

Now, Black folks. If you thought you were going to leave this post unscathed… baby, you got me fucked up! We absolutely have got to do better. I can accept that I was exposed at an early age and have had time to grapple with the topic. I can accept that I’m particularly open. I can even accept that I have a family that is pretty widely accepting and raised me with basic decency. But I cannot accept ignorance and I cannot accept homophobia and transphobia. The life expectancy of Black trans women is 35 years. In their lifetime, 3 in 4 Black trans people are likely to experience violent crime. This is unacceptable. I’m not asking everyone to wake up and be a crusader for the cause tomorrow (although I would love that), but it costs $0 to mind your business. If you don’t agree, stay in your lane and keep it moving. But what would be really dope is learning something, getting to a point of acceptance, and fiercely protecting Black trans people. Watching Disclosure is a good start. I know y’all got Netflix. All Black lives can’t matter, if LGBTQ+ lives are not included. We owe it to Marsha.